The Reason Your New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Stick
How to Keep Digital Distraction from Derailing You
The top new year’s resolutions every year always include people wanting to spend more time with family and friends, exercise and get outdoors more, be healthier, read more books, and get better sleep.
But according to research only 9% of people who make resolutions actually succeed in keeping them throughout the year. Common reasons cited for people’s failure to keep resolutions include setting unrealistic goals, not having a specific plan for follow through, lack of accountability, and decreasing motivation over time. However, there is one more extremely common yet largely overlooked barrier that keeps people from living out the life they want for themselves: digital distraction.
The devices that travel with us in our pockets 24/7, sleep next to us, sit next to us at meals, and otherwise constantly ask to be picked up and held consume a large amount of our limited daily time, attention, and energy, all of which keeps us from pursuing the goals we want.
One survey found that the average adult spends 4 hours and 25 minutes on their phone each day and users pick up their phones an average of 144 times per day! No wonder we find it so difficult to follow through on resolutions we know would improve our quality of life: we are constantly pulled away by our devices to the urgent and instant.
Not only do our constant digital companions exact costs of time and attention that inhibit us from engaging in reading, sleeping, getting outdoors, other forms of true leisure, and spending time with loved ones, but the effects they have on our brains actually make it harder for us to sustain presence, focus, and attention on these other goods.
A neuroscience study found that only three months after starting to use a smartphone, users experienced a significant decrease in their mental arithmetic scores, which means a reduction in their attentional capacity. The brain scans of heavy smartphone users showed “significantly reduced neural activity in their right prefrontal cortex, a condition also seen in ADHD, and linked with serious behavioral abnormalities such as impulsivity and poor attention.” Other studies have indicated that smartphones are distracting to our brains by their mere presence with us, causing a “brain drain” on our available cognitive capacities for the tasks at hand, even if phones are out of sight in our bags or pockets.
In light of how distracting our smartphones are to us, how can we live differently in 2025? What steps can we take to pursue the goals in life that we want and how can we keep digital distraction from derailing us?
I have been on this journey myself as a mom of three young kids and self-diagnosed productivity junkie always seeking to multi-task. I also spent the last year interviewing other parents who have sought to build lifestyles for their families focused on pursuing real-life relationships, leisure responsibility, and service to others. From these experiences, let me offer some ideas of steps you can take in this new year to build a life of greater presence, attention, rest, and health.
1. Presence
My main resolution two years ago in 2023 was to be more present with my family, especially my young children whom I spend the majority of my waking hours caring for. Parenting is hard and I feel the daily temptation to escape the trials of toddlerhood, rather than being present and fully engaged. My phone always offered the easiest way of escape to adult conversation, more stimulating activity, and information. But it came at great cost to my children and to my own experience of the day, leaving me feeling impatient or frustrated with them when they would interrupt me, and increasing my anxiety and discontentment. And so, I got rid of my smartphone for a Light phone. I needed the total reset – I didn’t want to even have the option when out with my kids to do anything on my phone but call or text. (There are many good alternative phones available now. I am currently using a Wisephone that offers a little more functionality I needed as a mom but still without an internet browser or social media).
You don’t need to switch phones or do a total technology opt out, however. There are many daily steps to take to regain presence with your loved ones. Consider adopting some of these as resolutions to cultivate presence this year:
I’m going to choose to have meals with people without my phone out.
I'll leave my phone in the car when I go to a restaurant or to church or out with other people.
When my kids are awake I’m going to put my phone physically away from myself in a phone box or in my bedroom.
I’m going to delete social media apps off my phone for 30 days to focus on in-person connection.
I’m going to say hello and talk to a stranger on the bus, metro, airplane, checkout line or sidewalk instead of looking down at my phone.
When I have friends over I will invite them to leave their phones in a basket so we can spend time together uninterrupted.
We are going to have a family game night once a week.
We are going to volunteer together as a family a few times a year and do a service project together.
Once a year we will take a family trip without our devices.
2. Attention
Every time I manage to sit down with a book I constantly feel tempted to pick up my phone when it vibrates with a new text. It is hard to read uninterrupted. And taking in so much content on a daily basis on screens encourages our brains towards skimming rather than deep reading or comprehension. Here are some resolutions you might make to take your attention back:
I’m going to read for 15 minutes a day without a phone or screen nearby, and over the course of the year build my way up to being able to read undistracted for 1 hour at a time.
Instead of reading the news on my phone, I will read a physical newspaper each morning.
I will take up a daily mindfulness practice for thought and reflection to develop and exercise my brain’s ability to sustain attention and focus on one thing at a time.
Instead of watching a TV show every night during the week, I will read. (My husband and I have switched to reserving screen entertainment for the weekends and my ability to relax by reading has slowly come back).
I will carry a physical book with me in my bag or briefcase to read in spare pockets of the day instead of checking my phone.
3. Rest and Health
Life is busy and we are constantly tempted to multi-task, respond instantly, and always be reachable. However, this keeps us from being able to rest our bodies and minds. Here are some resolutions that can help us rest better:
I will put my phone away 30 minutes before bedtime so I can spend the last half hour of the day reading and unwinding instead of continuing to reply to texts and emails.
I will not sleep next to my phone.
On my lunch break at work or breaks between classes or studying in the library, instead of checking my phone or social media, I will give my brain a rest by going outside for fresh air, taking a walk around the block, talking with a friend or colleague in person, listening to music, or reading a book.
I’m going to spend 15 minutes a day outside free of distractions/devices.
We are going to go on a walk together as a family once a day or once a week.
Let’s make 2025 the year we pursue lives of real relationship, leisure, and rest, by putting more distance between ourselves and our devices.