Go Dumb This Christmas

Adopt alternatives to smartphones and smart devices for your kids this holiday season

This holiday season, what if instead of buying children more technology that habituates them towards isolation in a virtual world, we opted to give them gifts that help them foster real-life responsibility and relationships?

Rather than buying your family more “smart” devices, opt to go “dumb” instead.

In our house, this looks like getting my kids new outdoor gear for cold weather, digging shovels for my toddler boys to dig holes and make dirt piles in our yard, new books, and a new family puzzle to do together, but anything that promotes engaging with the world and people around them and the outdoors—a pet, bike, scooter, roller skates, etc.—is a great option.

And for parents who do want to gift their children with a communication tool, there are ways to do this with intentionality. Rather than getting teens a smartphone for Christmas, consider an alternative, like a Wisephone, Bark phone, Pinwheel phone, or Light phone, none of which have access to the internet or addictive apps like social media. For younger kids and tweens, you can opt for a Gizmo watch, TickTalk watch, or more basic flip phone, or even a landline phone for the family with no personal phone at all.

While conducting interviews for my forthcoming book, The Tech Exit, I found repeatedly that many parents don’t want to give their kid a smartphone but they opt to purchase one because their child has legitimate communication needs and/or because they don’t want their child to be left out - it seems like all the other kids have smartphones.

I’m here with good news: there are many good alternatives available on the market today that will help kids stay in touch with their parents, and friends if desired, but also keep kids away from the dangers of social media and other addictive features and apps of smartphones, not to mention all the portals to the internet that smart devices too easily introduce and make difficult for parents to oversee. And parents, you don’t have to do it alone, your kid doesn’t need to be the only one with a non-smartphone alternative, talk to other parents and encourage them to “go dumb” for their kids with you. It may help to explain to other parents, and your kids, why.

Why resist smartphones for kids?

This is not an exhaustive list, but let me just offer a few brief reasons:

• The age of first smartphone is significantly correlated with worse mental health outcomes as adults. The younger someone is when they get their first smartphone, the worse their mental health outcomes will be over time. Young people who get their first smartphone at age six do worse than those who don’t get one until age thirteen or eighteen.

• Perhaps this is because, as one study found, the use of mobile devices to calm young children “worsened their emotional regulation skills over time.” It undermines their ability to develop self-control, which is necessary for success and happiness as adults.

• Interactive screens are also highly disruptive to a child’s nervous system and developing brain, overstimulating the nervous system to put children in a fight-or-flight mode. (Read more in the book Reset Your Child’s Brain by Dr. Victoria Dunckley).

• Research also shows the mere presence of a smartphone is mentally consuming and distracting, even when it isn’t actively being used. A smartphone affects a person’s mental function, reducing available cognitive capacities for the task at hand, even when it’s just sitting in a pocket or on a desk.

• Smartphones introduce thousands of apps and portals of entry to the internet and harmful content for children that make it impossible for parents to oversee. Parental control software is often unable to filter the web browsers inside of apps (many apps have their own in-app browsers) or to filter the social media feeds themselves, which can be filled with pornographic material. The reality is a smartphone makes it nearly impossible for a parent to protect a child from violent online pornography. The average age of first porn exposure is now 12, and more than half of teens (58%) have been exposed accidentally. Kids don’t need to go looking for porn, it finds them through smartphones.

• App Stores on smart devices advertise adult apps and content to children. According to one study, one in four nine- to twelve-year-old boys reported they’ve been on an online dating app. Dangerous ads also show up inside apps, even ones rated appropriate for children.

Alternatives Available

If you want to give your child a communication device but are convinced of the harms of smartphones, what are your other options? Thankfully, a number of good alternatives exist:

• The Wisephone has talk and text, along with other tools like a GPS and a camera. Its app store is still under development and will include apps that are functional tools, but it doesn’t have an internet browser, social media, or apps that encourage addiction or isolation, like games: https://wisephone.com. (Bonus for readers of Preserving Our Humanity: use the code CLARE to get $25 off, and from Dec 10-17, the code will get you $50 off for their Christmas promotion). The Wisephone isn’t designed specifically for kids; it’s designed to be a healthier phone, for children and adults alike. This is now the phone I use for myself as a mom.

• The Gabb phone has talk and text but no social media or internet browser. Plans range from the starter bundle, with only talk, text, and essential apps, to the advanced bundle, which adds image and group texting and a kid-safe music streaming app. One model includes a parent-enabled app store with hundreds of apps, including educational and food delivery apps. They also have a Gabb watch, which allows calls and texts only from approved contacts. It doesn’t have a camera, but it has a timer, alarm, and stopwatch: https://gabb.com.

• The Bark phone is a very customizable smartphone with built-in parental monitoring. The plan designed for younger kids is talk and text only. The plan for older kids allows app downloads with parental approval and gives parents the ability to restrict internet browsers, social media, and other apps: www.bark.us/bark-phone. Many parents who have used the Bark phone for their teens like the built-in monitoring alerts for parents, like if the child received or was trying to send a potentially inappropriate photo via text.

• The Pinwheel phone has talk, text, a GPS locator, and an app store with vetted apps available, if a parent decides to allow them, but no social media, internet browser, addictive games, or ad-driven apps. It also allows parental monitoring of texts and calls: www.pinwheel.com.

• The Light phone offers talk and text but no social media, internet browser, or email. The screen is limited to black and white: www.thelightphone.com.

• F1 Pro and F1 Horizon flip phones make calls, and most models text. Many also have other features including a weather app and a camera, but there is no internet browser: https://sunbeamwireless.com.

• The Gizmo watch is a smartwatch that can receive calls and texts only from parent-approved contacts and doesn’t have access to the internet: www.verizon.com/connected-smartwatches/verizon-gizmo-watch-3. Parents sometimes opt to use Gizmo watches for their kids in middle school, when they start having more extracurricular activities, for coordinating rides, etc. and then switched to a Gabb phone or Bark phone for high school.

• The TickTalk watch has talk, text, a camera, and more than twenty parental control settings. It doesn’t have internet access or the ability to download apps: www.myticktalk.com.

• Family Phone is a traditional landline service provider so you can opt for having just a family phone at home for kids to use: https://familyphone.com.

• The Nokia 6310 is an updated classic with call, text, and an FM radio: www.hmd.com/en_int/nokia-6310-2024.

So don’t be afraid to resist smartphones and opt for “going dumb” this holiday season instead. Your child will be the better for it, and so will your family life and relationships.